Keep Calm and Pretend it is on the Lesson Plan

This picture seems like a million days ago already.  I truly had to live by the philosophy "Keep Calm and Pretend its on the Lesson Plan" today.  I was down one assistant unexpectedly at school today which meant canceling some students' job training sites and having them in class all day.  I had a first time substitute assistant which required some extra time to train.  A student had a birthday and his mom, dad, grandpa and sister came in at noon with balloons, pizza for everyone, cake and ice cream.  Usually we try and have parties at the end of the day so we can send them home to detox!  We had a crazy afternoon as the students sugar buzzed.

I made up a project on the spur of the moment to go with a story we read.  I made up a game at the end of the day where you choose a place  and choose a letter and think of as many things as you can starting with that letter.  For example "things in the grocery store" that start with "B".  A BIG hit!  I guess I can still think on my feet.  Sure hope I can stick to the lesson plan a little better tomorrow!

The Best Sermon I Ever Heard

        The best sermon I ever heard was not given in a church.  The best sermon I ever heard was not spoken by a person who had been to seminary to train as a pastor.  The best sermon I ever heard was given by a bus driver!
        Five years ago I got to help start the off campus special education program for our school district in an old church building.  Through this venture I got to know a bus driver who quickly became my favorite.  I looked forward to those couple minutes at the end of the day when I got to chat with her.  
       A couple of years into the program the church where we were housed  had to sell their building.  We had worked so hard to make the church our home and I was less than thrilled with the plan that the school system rolled out for our next location.  I could see so many downsides to the new location.  I could only see what we were losing.  One day I lamented to my favorite bus driver.  She then went on to preach the best sermon I ever heard.
      She told me that she had one of the oldest busses in the fleet.  She had been promised a new bus and it didn't happen.  She was frustrated and unhappy every day when she got into that old bus.  One day she prayed about it, told God how miserable she was in this hunk of junk bus.  Her eyes lit up as she told me the next part of the story.  God told her to make it the best "hunk of junk" bus EVER!  She showed me her bucket of cleaning supplies and shared with me that everyday she cleaned the windows, wiped down the seats, swept the floors and made that bus smell good.  She greeted the students as she picked them up and made them feel as if they were embarking on a special journey in that bus.  Good things happened on that bus, great conversations and wonderful bonds were formed between driver, students, families and staff.  She then told me it was my turn to go and make it the BEST move to a new location.
      My staff and I downsized our "stuff", let the students pick colors for the new room, painted, hung twinkle lights and greeted our kids like they were embarking on a special new journey.  We concentrated on building bonds with our students and making some more great memories.  
     My bus driver taught me that sometimes when you can't change something you need to embrace it and make it the best.  My bus driver taught me that.  God works in amazing ways and uses common people like you and me and the bus driver!  

*this blog is in no way trying to insult pastors and what they do, I have been moved by many a sermon presented by my favorite pastors (Randy Engle and Bill DeVries)!   

Half autistic

     One of my students told me recently,  "I am only half autistic, part of me is an artist and part of me is autistic".   I just love that!  I feel like he wanted us all to know that you can't put him in a box, that autistic box.  He is not just his label or his disability.  He encourages us to look beyond that label and discover the surprises.  He is a wonderful artist!  
     Aren't we all like my student?  I don't want to be put in a box, the box of divorced or the box of amazing house keeper (o.k. just kidding about that one)!  Am I divorced?  Yes, but I am so much more than that.  If you get to know me you might be surprised by a few things.
     I feel it is important that my students know their disability.  I have had students reach post high school level and not know that they have a disability, that there IS a reason some things are hard for them.  It is equally important to teach them to never let that label limit them.  A balance must be found where they are pushing themselves to their potential but also being kind to themselves when they aren't able to do something.  That is no small task for my staff and I.  We sometimes are too easy on students and assume that they aren't able to do something.  I have had students that I thought for sure could not do a task and they blew me away with their ability!  Like M for example:  We were doing a fraction unit.  M struggles with basic math concepts and I really thought of giving him something else to work on but I wanted him to have the pizza box!  Let me explain, I put the fraction unit work in individual pizza boxes and I wanted him to have that too.  After the unit was finished and the final test given, M got half of the test correct!  I am so glad I didn't limit M.
     Sometimes we are too hard on students.  We need to know our students well and read the signs when they are getting overwhelmed, stressed or anxious.  We need to listen to them.
    A good day is when students struggle a little, but have lots of success too!  I guess that is pretty much a good day for all of us, right?

Back to Work

                                        Back to Work
Kitchen update:  met with our kitchen designer and tweaked the plans a bit.  Chose hardware, sink, counter top and faucet.  I really tried to go with my first impulse and not second guess myself.  I love what I have picked out and can't wait to see it all put together in my kitchen.  The gas stove and hood, microwave, and dishwasher have all been purchased.  When it came to appliances I pretty much tried to go for the mid price range, white and clean designs.  
      School starts in two days so I am putting together a folder of kitchen remodel survival recipes.  I have a hard enough time cooking when I teach full time and now with a gutted kitchen it is really going to be a challenge.  I did what I do when I want to find out information....I googled it!  And yes there were many blogs and sights with recipes for the kitchen deprived.  Many, many people have lived to tell the tale of their cooking during a kitchen remodel!  
     So what did I learn from this latest round of kitchen work?  Trust my instincts and don't second guess myself.  I know what I like.  Also, there is nothing new under the sun,  somebody has been thru what I am going thru and  
I can glean some good advice (recipes) from them.

Here is a keeper recipe I found and tried:
Pulled Pork

pork loin
root beer
bottle of your favorite barbecue sauce

Put pork loin in slow cooker and cover with root beer.  Cook on low for 6 hours.  Take port loin out of the root beer and shred it.  Add your barbecue sauce to your shredded pork.  Serve on buns!

this is our latest favorite barbecue sauce...Rufus Teague Honey sweet!  Sooo good.

Gone Fishin'
   We interrupt this kitchen remodel to take a few vacations/staycations!  The above photos are my youngest son and grand-daughter fishing at our Lakefront park.  Even though I have a kitchen remodel in the works I know I will regret it if I don't take some time off for some R&R!   I have spent some time with my two beautiful grand-girls fishing and picking blueberries.  I have gone fly fishing with my special man.  I admit I did more reading than fishing but what a great few days we had.  Now it is off to southern Indiana with some family to live on a lake for a week.  As soon as I get back I have a meeting scheduled to keep this kitchen remodel moving.  Summer is going soooooo fast but I am so happy to be spending some time "fishin" or "readin"!  I guess the lesson to be learned is "take some time to go "fishin" or whatever your version of "fishin" is!

All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned During my Kitchen Remodel
 I decided to write about my kitchen remodel for the purpose of learning what I can from the experience (and maybe give you a little entertainment along the way too).  My last post I got a little distracted in telling the story of choosing my fabulous Italian kitchen designer and forgot to write about what I learned.

It's kind of like these shoes pictured above.  I went to the store because they had summer pajama pants on sale and came home with these really cute tennis shoes, aren't they cute and they go so well with jeans!

Focus, I could so get off track at this juncture.

The lesson from the last post I think is how important it is to listen.  Remember that saying about why God gave you TWO ears and only ONE mouth.  The kitchen remodel company I chose got the job because he really listened to what I was saying.   This listening thing is an unexpected lesson for me to come out of a kitchen remodel.  I am by nature a talker and  it didn't help that they named a doll "Chatty Cathy" when I was growing up either.  Where in my life should I be talking less and listening more?

The lesson I am learning from this post is FOCUS.  Do what you set out to do.  I am not so good at this.  I like detours, oh lets be honest I look for detours to take!  In a remodel it is so easy to get off track and there are some side tracks that need to happen.  For example, we are going to need to set up a little pseudo temporary kitchen in our dining room/living room area.  We don't have enough space so I decided to list the piano on craigslist since no one is playing it anymore and it would free up much needed space.  I took pictures of the piano and created the craigslist post.  No bites so I reposted it a few days later with a lower price and sold the piano!

Now that I have some more space I need something to use for temporary storage in my pseudo kitchen.  I remember that Will is using some wonderful plastic drawers in his closet for clothes.....if I finally get him a dresser which I have been meaning to do since his room remodel last summer, I could use those drawers.  Its off to Fred's Unique Furniture, the most awesome used furniture/lots of other stuff place ever!  Focus....focus....I could go on and on about Fred's. (fredsuniquefurniture.com)   We decide to drop off a desk to Fred's while we are there and earn a little money too.  We find a great dresser and put it in Will's room.  I now have 7 plastic drawers to use in my fake kitchen. Phew!

I started putting kitchen items that we use all the time in the plastic drawers.  That got me thinking about the meals we will make during construction using only the grill, crock pot and microwave.  I decided that I should choose 10-12 recipes that will be our staple menu for the weeks we truly have to rely on our fake kitchen.  By choosing the recipes I could better decide which items I needed in the drawers and which ones can be boxed up and put in the basement.  Talk about a challenge for focus...there are so many wonderful recipes online, there are even sights where they give advice for people cooking during a kitchen remodel!

I decided to go ahead and start boxing items I wouldn't miss.  Boxes???  My favorite boxes are from Uhaul and they have great packing paper too.  I could use moving boxes...

Enough....you get the idea.  Every step leads to two or three other steps to achieve my goal.  I have to continually remind myself what my original goal was.  Kitchen remodeling is going to seriously stretch my focus muscles!

All I Ever Needed to Know I learned During a Kitchen Remodel

I forged ahead and contacted a second kitchen company.  The first thing I noticed was how he listened for the first part of our meeting.  He asked questions about how I use my kitchen, how many people are in the kitchen at once and what my dream kitchen might look like.  He had heard of pinterest and recycled glass counter tops which I mentioned during our conversation.  He heard me when I said I wanted a cottage kitchen.  He was easy to talk to and got excited about my ideas.  He is Italian and talks with his hands.  When we got to flooring he suggested wood floors because they really fit with a cottage look but tile could work too.  Oh my, you mean there is more than one way to do things!  

After listening he told me he wanted to present me with an idea.  Not in two weeks, right there on the spot.  He sketched out a plan.  The biggest idea was pertaining to my window dilemma.  I have a big window that takes up a lot of one wall and one small window over the sink.  He preposed getting rid of the small window that faces the driveway and the neighbors house, the window without a view he called it.  The big window he suggested we replace but shorten, the window with a view of the backyard.  Then he moved the sink under the big window.  He included a pantry with pull out shelves which I had mentioned.  The stove and a hood where the small window had been.  It was like watching a puzzle just fall into place.  It made so much sense!  We met a week later with the drawn up plan, tweaked it to MY taste even more, asked many questions about the process and settled on a price point.  

The third company called and said they would call me back in a week or two...its been three.  Not a good sign.  So its time to make my choice.  Is is door #1 with its "one way" of thinking, door #2 with its "listen to customer"approach  or door #3 with its "we will call you later" philosophy.  

Of course its #2!  I have had my "Italian Kitchen Designer" (doesn't that sound Grossie Pointie) and a couple of the subcontractors in and it all looks like a go......except for that existing flooring issue????  Stay tuned!

All I ever needed to know....I learned during a Kitchen Remodel

All I ever needed to know....I learned during a Kitchen Remodel

I just have a feeling that the above title is going to be so true.  It is already starting and I might as well make the most of this learning opportunity.  Let me tell you about lesson #1.

I called up a well known kitchen remodel place to meet with their designer and get ideas and a quote.  That part is free.  I planned to meet with 3 different companies and was upfront about that fact.  The first company was in Grosse Pointe.  For those of you reading this who don't know anything about my area, I will give you a little side note.  Grosse Pointe has some really really beautiful homes and people with a whole lot more money to spend than me.  When something is expensive or over the top my kids and I say it is "Grossie Pointie".  The first designer was definitely "Grossie Pointie".  

I want a cottage kitchen, white cupboards, and a farm sink.  I want storage, storage and more storage!  I tell the designer guy this.  He asks me about the flooring.  I tell him I have been thinking about tile or wood floor.  He tells me,  "you can't do tile in this small space it will look too chopped up".  Excuse me, did you just say "I CAN'T do something".  This is my house and I CAN do anything I want, kinda scary that you don't realize this Mr. designer guy!

He starts talking to me about the kind of storage I want.  I tell him I am a pull out shelf kind of girl.  I do not do well with deep drawers which he keeps suggesting.  Deep drawers for me are like toy boxes, I put things in there and they get all jumbled up.  He says "you MUST have a combination of pull out shelves and deep drawers".  Seriously dude, again with the "MUST".

By the end of two meetings he had drawn up "his" little "Grossie Pointie" kitchen which would be like hundreds of others he has designed the RIGHT way...HIS way. He had deep drawers which he just knew I would end up loving and thanking him for later.  I canceled our final "free" meeting so as not to waste anymore of our time since I had decided against using his company.  When I returned a sample he had lent me he would not even acknowledge my presence.  

So lesson #1 is BE TURE TO YOURSELF AND DON'T LET SOMEONE TELL YOU THAT THERE IS ONLY ONE RIGHT WAY TO BE!

and maybe lesson #1b would be to watch how I word things when I teach.  Instead of words like "can't" and "must" which had such a negative response from me, how about words like "try" and "maybe".  Imagine if designer guy had said "you might want to try wood flooring to keep it simple and have it flow with the rest of your hardwood" (which another designer guy said and I totally agreed with that!)  

People

    I am thinking about the people in my life today.  Some rather complicated issues have come up lately at work and I am trying to figure out how I am supposed to act in these situations.  First of all I am a Christian, not just someone who has certain religious traditions but someone who tries to always follow the teachings of Jesus.  I am also in a career where one must stand up for oneself, be assertive and be able to confront others when needed.  How do I combine these two things?  This week I would have to say "not well"!
     I think the secret lies in looking at how Jesus handled complicated issues in his life. He was not a doormat that is for sure!  He created discord often.  But the big thing that stands out is that Jesus was very clear on his motivation.  Everything he did was out of love for God, even his anger was out of love for his Father.  His goal was to have everyone come to God.  His goal was to love all people.  Loving people isn't always making them feel good, sometimes it is confronting them with things that need to change.
     Here is where it gets tricky.  I don't always see the picture clearly.  I may not know all the facts, and working for a public institution people keep knowledge for themselves on purpose because it gives them power.  If I went with my religious training I would never confront and I would be a beaten down rug for all others to walk on.  If I go with the public institutions way of dealing with things I would grab a hold of knowledge and keep it to myself until just the right time when I would pull it out to look  like I was in charge.  
     My choice is to try and do what Jesus did.  Notice I said "try", knowing full well I will fail sometimes.  There are certain things that I know are best for my students.  I need to continually be willing to work for those things even if it means confronting someone.  I need to confront someone instead of making them the subject of conversations with others.  My motivation needs to be my love of Jesus and what is best for my students.
      What a tall order!  I need to pray....often.....continuously......from the heart........

Saying "YES"

     I am a pleaser....lets just get that out of the way from the get go.  I learned it well from my religious up bringing and my failed marriage.  I wanted others to be happy and then I could be happy.  What I learned after many years of frustration is that making someone else happy doesn't always turn out to be good for me.  I ended up doing things that I didn't really want to and inconveniencing my schedule. Often I thought I was helping people and I ended up enabling them.  Other times I thought I was helping and I ended up hurting people because in the end I couldn't deliver and had to bail on them.
    So why do I write this today?  Summer has just begun and many people in my life want me to do certain activities this summer.  It is not wrong for them to want to do these things but I have to learn how to handle these requests.  First I need to remember that just because someone asks me to do something does not mean I have to do it.  I know that sounds stupid,  its just a request but for me it changes in my head to "how will I fulfill this request".  Next I have to communicate clearly.  Most people need to hear a clear "NO", not my usual wishy washy "let me see if I can work that into my schedule" or "maybe".  In others minds that wishy washy talk turns into "yes" and when I can't do what they requested they are disappointed and feel that I have let them down....and I have because I didn't communicate clearly.  I also need to be realistic about what I can do.  In most cases being an optimist is great but when it comes to scheduling activities it is disaster to think I can do way more than I can, someone always gets hurt (others or myself).
     Let's talk about guilt.  I have a few people in my life who hit my guilt button when I try and say no to their request.  I of course have taught them that guilt works on me.  I need to change that.  I think just recognizing what is going on is the first step.  Someone can lay guilt on me but I don't have to wear it!
     I want to do things for others and I do often.  I love it when I can make someone happy because of what I can do for them BUT I can not do everything that everybody asks of me.  This lesson will help me and people in my life have a much better summer and the activities I say "yes" to will be enjoyed fully!

“If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you. But I did, I do, and I will.”

Women at Risk

These beautiful scarves were for sale at "Women at Risk International" in Grandville, Michigan.  Women from all over the world support their families by making jewelry and crafts.  Many have been rescued from abuse and prostitution.  

The most interesting thing for me besides all the beautiful items was overhearing one of the staff having a discussion with someone about how working with our hands has always been a way that women have dealt with crisis.  I started thinking about my own life and I found that statement to be true.  I baked  bread when my son died, so much so that a friend dubbed me "the good grief bakery". I took up photography when I went thru a divorce, as evidenced by my taking my camera to the Women at Risk shop the other day.  Lately I have been drawn to sewing which is helping me thru a break-up.  I see this pattern in my own mom also.  She has taken up knitting  again while she adjusts to my father's passing.  

It is so satisfying to start and complete a project.  Life on the other hand is full of starts and stops and not completing.  Making something of beauty is gratifying.  Making something beautiful out of one's life is complicated.  Things often don't turn out quite as beautiful as one would hope.  So as we try and make something out of our messy lives it is a gift to hold something of beauty that we have created in our hands.  

Food

   Time with my special guy taught me about FOOD!  I have sampled more things in the 5 years with him than in my entire life before meeting him.  He was passionate about good food.  I learned it is better to go once to a great restaurant than 20 visits to a fast food joint.  He took time to prepare wonderful meals and served them with care.  Presentation is important.  He enjoyed the process as well as the results.  Keeping it simple was his philosophy, he said good quality food didn't need a lot done to it.  I am trying to take some of that philosophy with me.  I am aiming to do more meal planning.  I want to enjoy the process and not view it as a chore but a pleasure.  Cooking is fun!

new Year.  new beginnings.  this is going to a year of changes.  i must do this year without my guy, without that special man that always had my back.  it was my choice and i do believe the right one however that doesn't make it any easier.  i will never meet someone as passionate and interesting as he is, of that I am sure.  he has touched almost every area of my life.  i have learned so much from him.  i don't want to forget the things I learned from my years with him.

he taught me the value of having routines.  things like cleaning up the kitchen after a meal.  making coffee the night before so all you have to do is flick the switch (it makes getting out of bed so much easier).    i always viewed routines as a chore but he showed me that they make your life more enjoyable.  I am taking comfort in routines right now as i grieve this loss.  i want to keep learning and appreciating routines!

sweet man, my dad

Neal De Young
12/18/1928-5/26/2012


My dad.  As I mourn his death the word that keeps coming to my mind is "sweet".  My dad was kind.  He liked helping people.  He did not like to create conflict.  He cried (I mean got chocked up) during sad movies.  He was supportive of me.  He gave to others then didn't even remember doing it, that's true giving.  


My dad also liked "sweets".  He used to treat me to ice cream as we were running errands and then he would say "Don't tell your mother"!  We were often sweet thieves together.  My brother and my mom have no sweet tooth so it was just him and I in this common bond.


He suffered from dementia in the end.  Even his death was "sweet".  He was in a nursing home for just a few months.  His body just shut down.  He was gone in minutes.  We had several close calls with my dad years earlier and God blessed us with more time.  It feels like just the right amount of time.  He was ready to go and I am ready to let go.  I got to have my dad in my life for 54 years!  I had a good relationship with my dad for those 54 years!  That is truly "sweet"!


Amazing Grace how SWEET the sound.....

Day 9 photo challenge, RED

So much red, so little time!

Day 8 photo challenge, window

Nobody does windows like Frank L. W.

Day 7 photo challenge

This is something "he" wore instead of something I wore. Cold and sunny day.

5 PM

Day 5 photo challenge

These two students have the best smiles EVER! They are great friends and look out for each other. We were taking a "serious" picture of produce for our nutrition unit....you can see how that turned out!