I can't believe it but the winter blues are already hitting me! The Christmas tree isn't even down and I am already having blues attacks. Yesterday I tried to do some work at school and I I felt like I was in one of those dreams where you are trying to run but everything is in slow motion. I gave up, went home, crawled in bed and slept for 2 hours. A sure sign of the winter blues.

I am going to be diligent about using my "winter blues emergency kit". My kit includes vitamins, sticking my face in the sun when it appears every 12th day and exercise. But this year I am going to add another tool....writing. I have been reading my cousin's daughters blog (jodimichelle.com) and she inspires me. She writes her way thru life, we all just have been invited to join her. I see what good therapy it provides her.

So today I am going to start right where I am at....my living room! The gifts are all sitting on the floor, wrapping paper supplies under the tree, and my lovely pine branch mantel decoration has fallen down and not one needle remains on the branch. I am going to pick up.

Now the way my mind works is something like this...I will pick up, order new shades for the windows, figure out what to do with the blank wall, get a new coffee table, I will take pictures and write about it, etc. etc. etc. No wonder I usually fail.

I will pick up the living room...period...and maybe dream about what I will do to complete this room, I think that's fair and take before and after pictures because that is just so darm motivating! Picking up this room will help with my winter blues because I will get exercise doing it and I will have accomplished something. So here goes, talk to you when I'm done...

a supporting role

The young lady pictured inspired me! Let me catch you up to speed. I teach my church's middle school Sunday School class. I had every intention of turning down that honor this year when my own middle school age son came to me and said, "Mom, please teach my class!". I thought to myself....how much longer will he actually want me to be anywhere around him and his friends? I've got 6 months or less I'm guessing so I said yes. Flash forward to our Christmas Play in which my class were the actors. I did a poor job of handing out parts. I thought I made it clear that when we first read the play thru they were not reading the parts that they would necessarily end up with. Some feelings were hurt. Then we had practice the week before and had to switch up some parts again because some of the kids weren't there, more confusion. Anyway, the young lady above was given the part of the "little sister". It was a bit part with maybe 3-4 lines in one scene. She took her itty bitty part and rocked it! She came dressed complete with little sister pig tales and a doll. She spoke with so much expression and had the audience eating out of her hand!

I started thinking about that. I want to take whatever bit part I have in life and rock it! Do it to the best of my ability, give it a little flare, do with gusto and who knows...maybe even steal the show once in a while!

I am on vacation for 2 weeks! I started a full time teaching job on November 1 (more about that later) and am on Christmas vacation now. Working full time has been wonderful for the bank account, wonderful for my self esteem and creativity BUT not so wonderful for my kids and my house! The house....is just a house and I will give it a little attention on vacation. The kids on the other hand are my kids. I have said, "I can't do that right now", "maybe later", "I am too tired to do that" and "hurry up" more times than I care to admit. Soooo, on this vacation my goal is to nix "hurry Up" from my vocabulary and say "yes, we can do that" as many times as I can!

Clutter Cottage

I am in a place that will just HAVE to be put into one of the books I am going to write. This place is a rental cottage but it feels more like we are crashing someone's cottage. It is filled with personal items. There is no space that is left open to allow a visitor to make their own space. The structure itself has many little add ons. When an addition was put on windows were just filled in with plywood. It is a bit hill billy which isn't actually the most unique thing about this place. This place is stuffed, over flowing with no room to breathe. Every wall has pictures, mirrors, crosses and things that light up. There is even a picture hung on the wall under the kitchen table. There are 43 small mirrors in one room. The kitchen cupboards are packed, items mismatched and spilling out when I try to get an item out. Finding a place on the counter to actually work meant boxing up items temporarily. Finding a place for dry goods meant stuffing items into already full cupboards to open up a shelf or two for our groceries.

Then there are the owls. The owner collects anything with an owl on it. One person who signed the guest book said they stopped counting at 146. I like collections as much as the next person but all these owls staring at me is annoying. Its not like the collector was being picky about the owls, it looks like any owl will do. The lamps, dishtowels, wind chimes, ironing board cover, and pictures all have owls on them. The windows and shelves are filled with figurines of owls. I find myself not liking owls anymore. I was in a store today and saw an owl on a coffee cup and I felt myself feeling repulsed.

By far the most disturbing thing is the shrine that this place has been made into to a child that has died. There are pictures of a child named Luke all over and in every room. There are even pictures in the shower of Luke in the tub. A picture of Luke by the outside shed is laminated and put on the shed. We discovered some writing that was done by a school mate and it told the story of Luke dying of lukemia. It is depressing and fells unhealthy the degree to which the owners have gone to honor this child. It is one thing if they want to do that in there own space but a space that you rent out? I want to make my own memories not be weighed down by someone else's.

I am using this space as an example of "how not to do a rental" and putting it in my memory for a somewhat creepy location in a book. I also am dying to go home and get rid of junk because I now see what it leads to and I don't want to live there!

Makin' Memories

We are off to make some memories! Once again I am taking my 3 musketeers on a trip. This is the 5th year of travel with niece Gwyn, son Will,and daughter Dana. I remember 5 years ago, newly divorced and in desperate need of a fun adventure. I packed up the car, picked up Gwyn in MA and we headed to a rental cottage in Maine that I had talked the owner into giving us for a very reasonable price. It was a week of making HAPPY memories, it had been awhile for those kind of memories. The next year was TN and hiking in the Smokies. The story of running into a bear on the trail the first day has been told many times and each time that bear gets a little closer and a little bigger. Then came 2 years in a row going to RI, we loved it so much we just had to do a repeat.

This year it is off to Lake Superior. We have rented a cottage in the woods on a river, just a short walk to Lake Superior. I am eager to see what memories will be made this time. I love hearing the kids talk about our trips later and know that they have fond memories stored up. Life gets hard some time and they will need to go into their memory storage bank and pull out some memories to get them thru. Gotta go now and make some memories!

Fun Yellow

I am working on finishing my upstairs. I picked out paint for the new bathroom. Yellow. Bright Yellow, actually called daffodil yellow. I bought a sample, put it on the wall, debated, bought a gallon, put it on the wall, tried to like it, hated it! I consulted my daughter Dana who is color gifted unlike me. She told me I needed "fun yellow". I called my friend Marion and she looked at the color on line and agreed with Dana. I bought Fun Yellow and I love it!

Don, Dana and I were going to spend a morning painting. Dana was working in the closet, washing it down. Don had layed out a new sponge for her to use but she used another which gave off red stuff on the wall. Don was patient, I was not. I told her something like, "Dana, on a job this would be disaster, you have to learn to follow instructions".

I was painting fun yellow. I was really in the cutting in groove (without the blue tape even). I was ready to move my ladder, reached up for the can and basically tipped it right down the front of me! There was paint down my shirt, splashed all over the room, ladder and floor.

Dana strolled over and said "mom if this were on the job, it would be disaster"! I ate those words!

My only regret is that we didn't take a picture, it was pretty funny...later!

I love Saturdays

Its Saturday morning.  I have learned to love saturday mornings.  Since I get up at 6a.m. every week day I wake up early on saturday too just out of habit.  I do not have to wake up the kids they drift out of their rooms when they wake up.  That gives me a couple

of delicious hours to myself.  I check e-mail until there are "no new messages".  I read.  Not my usual nightly read where I fall asleep in 3 or 4 pages but real reading where the story comes alive and goes places in one sitting.  This morning's book of choice is Learning to Drive by Mary Hays.  The story is about a newly single mom with two youngs sons and in todays saga is making her first attempt at staying in the family cottage sans hubby.  Trying to turn on the water was a funny story.  I remember many of my first attempts with kids looking on in horror!  I don't see that look in their eyes so much anymore. 

Saturday morning is also a phone conversation with my one and only sibling.  My brother and I both look forward to a saturday morning cup of coffee and some relaxed time to catch up.  We just grow closer over the years and I am so glad Ken is my brother. 

Saturday morning is also writing!  Not writing I HAVE to do like my professional blog (CEC reality 101 for new teachers) which is fun on a weekday but writing about anything I want to!

Saturday morning is staying in my p.j.s or whatever is serving as p.j.s these days way into the afternoon.  It is also eating when I am hungry not when the clock says 12.  

I LOVE SATURDAYS!

Inspiring

    I just read my son and his friend's new blog.  I am so proud!  It is good, really good.  It did exactly what they hoped it would do, inspire. Now, I want to write that children's book I have in my head.  I want to get the new lense for my Nikon D40 and take pictures.  I am proud of these two guys for taking a road less traveled, for not letting their creativity go to waste.  Because of them today I will try and not let my creativity go to waste!  Inspire on Andrew and Charles!   the occasionalexplorer.blogspot.com

legs and eyes

     I made it thru the first day of the new semester and my new group of students.  Of course I had 3 no-shows which made it a little easier.  So there were 4 on my crew.  One was a alumni from last semester, one in a wheelchair who has a brain tumor, one who is going blind and uses a cane, and a new students.  What a group!  My new young man lives in a group home and was fabulous, eager to learn and quite experienced.  It dawned on me that if I put Wheel chair guy with blind girls together they would have legs and eyes!  On top of it Wheel chair guy thought blind girl was cute and nice...hmmmm....a little crush maybe?  

    It is the first day of second semester.  I get several new students today.  I wonder what they will be like?  I will be teaching some students from scratch and some experienced...hummmm....how to do that?  I literally never know what will walk thru the door with these guys!  I have already planned lunch at Don's house because I think I will need to "debrief"!

    I must have felt I needed to get ready to do battle because I have all and I mean ALL the laundry done AND the ironing.  I did the bills and caught up on all things financial.  Well, there is that optional insurance that has been added to my morgage that I have to take care of yet...there is always something. 

     Ready, Set, Go teach!

A Dining Experience

      My special guy took my daughter and I to dinner last night.  It was so much fun watching Dana have a real dining experience.  First we got ready, she picked out her outfit and did her hair.  At Andiamo Don helped her order her first non-alchoholic drink, a "Shirley Temple".  She thought she was quite something with her fancy drink.  We had a soup and bread course.  We had a our main course and then dessert.  She loved the food.  She flirted with the bus boy who flirted right back.  She was a good conversationalist.  She was ablsolutely adoreable.  I watched her just blossom with the attention.  I am so thankful Don is who he is and accepts my special daughter for who she is.  What a great evening!

Sewing with Hope

     I sewed last night!  I remember watching my mom whip up these wonderful clothing items on her sewing machine.  I always had a new outfit for the annual class trip or a dress for the banquets in high school.  I took a little 4H class and we made a pillow case.  I was so proud of that project.  I recieved a sewing machine for college graduation and it has logged quite a few hours.  

     This past christmas I made pajama pants for lots of family.  Last night I made some for my daughter who will celebrate her birthday this week-end.  It was so fun to match the material with her latest obsession (Lakeshore High School).  It was so relaxing sewing with good music playing.  So much better than getting in the cold car, shopping for the perfect gift, settling for something not quite right and more expensive, and finally arriving home exhausted.      I could think while I sewed.  I thought about little Dana and how I used to make her clothes.  I truly made her gift with love!  I know that sounds like a cliche but it is true.  

     I listened to some news while I sewed and prayed for the people in Haiti.  I wondered, why me?  Why do I get to enjoy this great evening sewing and they are mourning and scrambling for their lives?

     I watched as a couple yards a fabric gradually turned into the shape of pajama pants.  In a just a couple of hours I saw this delightful item take shape.  With so many other things in life it takes so long so see the end result.  Sewing gives me hope that things will take shape...it might take until heaven knows when...or when we are in heaven!

      I am thankful, for my daughter, my mom who taught me to sew and hope, hope that things will take shape in my life and the lives of the people in Haiti. 

Consistantly Habititially Working on Life

   Why is it so hard to be consistant?  That is a question I have asked myself a million times as I try to stick with an activity that I want to include in my life like exercise, eating right or flossing my teeth. Maybe I have been going about this backwards.  Maybe I should look at the things that have become habits and see why they have "stuck".  For example this morning I am going to church.  A habit that I stick to.  I do not like getting up and getting the kids and I out the door.  The commute is long.  Most of the time I like the social part but sometimes I am not feeling particularly social.  I love the music and the sermon.  I go away feeling as if I am closer to God and know Him better.  I am blessed everytime I go.  

   Another habit that has stuck is getting up early before work.  I give myself at least half an hour before I have to get anyone else up.  I make myself a cup of coffee and I get on my laptop.  I read e-mail, morning devotions, and a couple of blogs about home decoration I enjoy.  I write like this morning.  I will skip sleep to do this because I enjoy it so much.  

    So there are two activities that are now habits that I don't even have to work at.  I see that both of them I enjoy.  Both of them make my life richer, feed my mind and soul in some way.  Both of them have a set time, they are on a schedule.

    With my new habits I think I need to find a way that they are enjoyable.  I need see how the new activites enriches my life.  A scheduled time for the new habit seems to be key.

    

   Maybe it is as simple as putting on a pair of favorite flip flops and get going?  Brrrr it 8 degrees this morning!

    

    I work with special education young adults (18-26).  I love the students and the work.  I do job training by teaching my students custodial skills.  My philosophy of education for this population has been developing.  I now believe that these students should be as independent as possible.  Anything I can do to make that more possible I commit myself too.  An example is our toilet paper holders.  They were so difficult to open and close that students had to constantly come to me to get them opened.  I was able to inexpensively purchase new ones that operate like the ones in our homes.  I have not had to help a student since.  I look for things that we can take on so they can add more skills to their toolbox (sometimes literally).  We have been sorting recycling.  Space is tight at school and we found an out of the way alcove to put our bins.  The students get the recycling boxes from the classroom and then bring them to the alcove to sort into bins with plastic, paper, cardboard, aluminum and newspaper.  They are good at it and we are helping the planet!  So why am I writing about this?  My administration wants to take this away from my students.  When I asked why, I was told because it has to be dropped off to the recycling center too often.  I now drop it off on my own, problem solved.  Wrong!  Administration now is complaining that they don't want it in the alcove.  So today I will move it into the laundry room.  This is really a test for my administration.  Does she really care about the students and their independence or does she have be in control.  Every staff member tells me the later is true.  I hope she proves them wrong.

Its all in a day

I was watching a Master Piece theater movie yesterday and one of the characters talked about how her father would have his children write in two columns.  One column was for the morning and what you thought would happen that day and one was for the evening where you wrote what really happened. If I had done that yesterday the two columns would look nothing alike!

I went back to work after Christmas break.  I work as a special education vocational instructor.  My young adults do custodial work in our school.  First off I discovered we had no water in half of the building.  I altered the cleaning plan to accomadate this fact.  Then one of my students reported there was water coming from one of the rest room ceilings and then all *&^(&% broke lose as pipes began to burst all over the large lunch room.  No one knew how to turn the main water off at first.  The fire alarm went off several times. Staff worked on sopping up water.  Plumbers were called.  Students were contained in classrooms.  One of my students arrived late and slipped in the water.  We had no water for 2 hours while the plumber fixed the pipes. Many staff thought we should cancel school because its not legal to have classes when we don't have rest rooms but the principal thought otherwise.  I could never have predicted yesterday!

Today I hope to actually clean the school with my crew.  I hope to work on insulating my upstairs (my home renovation project), pick up a perscription, do some bills and get some christmas thank-yous in the mail.  We will see how that all turns out...today is another day!

One thing I wanted to do more of in 2010 is to read the Bible.  Not books about the bible, although they have their place too but the actual book itself.  This morning I eagerly (well maybe not eagerly because it was way to early in the morning to be eager) went to the Bible and guess what the lesson was about?  Waiting!  Waiting on God to answer.  How typical of me to rush in with my shiny new years resolution to read the Bible and grab something from it.  How typical of God to say, that is not quite how I work.  God says that He is God not me, it is His timing not mine.  "Be still and know I am God".  How typical of God to have a lesson waiting for me just not the one I expected!  

The toughest part of starting this blog was choosing a name!  I finally settled on flip flop for several reasons.  I own 28 pairs of flip flops at last count.  I love how easy they are to slip on and off, how inexpensive  they can be and how you can change color and style with your mood.  I think they represent a life style too.  I like a casual informal style in clothing and home decorating.  I like to be comfortable.  I seek to by comfortable in my own skin at whatever stage of life I am at. So here is to a new year of wearing flip flops, making informal comfortable spaces in my home and becoming more of the person God intended me to be.